Body Dysmorphia Blogs

Why Now?

I’m 27 years old.  Three and a half years ago, I finally found out why I behave irrationally.  I have been diagnosed with Body Dysmorphia Disorder.  Some days I can cope with it, other days I pretend I don’t have it.  I’ll refuse to acknowledge its existence…hence, the irrational behavior.

When I was little, my therapists thought I was bipolar.  I have done some research on Bipolar and there are some things that add up.  However, its likes reading Web MD and being convinced you have every single sickness known to man.  I do not know if I am Bipolar, and I may never know.  I do know that after seeing different doctors, specialists, psychiatrists, therapists, and more for many years I finally have a few answers.

I am not an expert on Body Dysmorphia.  I can only talk about my experiences and how it affects my life.  Let me tell you now, there are so many ways that this disorder has stopped me from living my life.  I obsess about almost everything body related.

I’m not going to go into specifics now, but I wanted my readers to know why I need to write about my disorder now.

I have lived with my irrational and obsessive thoughts for 23 years of my life with little support or answers.  I do not want anyone with this disorder or any other mental illness to feel that isolation.

I’m ready to share, even though it scares me to be vulnerable.  But I want to be honest to who I am.  I want this process to help myself and others be empowered to talk about mental illness.  I want a society that has open dialogue about it, and seeks to understand rather than poke fun at the unknown.

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