I haven’t blogged in awhile, mostly because this week has been a circus. But there was another reason. Lately, I have felt so defeated. Now, it is a normal feeling that when you put so much effort into something, that when is fails, you feel like you have failed as well.
What happens when the feeling of failure or defeat comes from something entirely out of your control? What happens when the words or choices of individuals or groups tear you down? I try not to let the words or actions of others control my feelings, however, some days I am more susceptible to letting life get to me.
Here’s my example from this shit show of a week:
Now, my friend a Deb has every right to her opinion. She has her beliefs and it is not my place to tear her down because I think differently. However, it took everything in me to keep my fingers still and not type an attacking response to her hurtful words. Her words made me cry. Why? Because I had a discouraging few days at school. I’ve been putting hours upon hours finding ways to reach my class and create lessons to help my kids become successful. Half of my class is reading two to three years below grade level. On top of that, there are so many other things that these kids have to face that there are days where I am teaching social, behavior, and other strategies to help them from day to day. I have been over my budget for school since week one. I try my best to get the kids supplies they need. I am not complaining about my students. I love them and what I do, but there are other factors of teaching that can make it hard to keep doing it. But I won’t quit because of the ‘other factors of teaching.’ I’m here for the students because they deserve a successful life.
Now, I have been going to work, putting in countless hours of lesson planning, and creating things to help my students achieve their current reading goals. On Wednesday, we took our first reading test. With all of our hard work, best efforts, and positive vibes we didn’t make our goal. We were all discouraged. But life goes on, right? I will continue to put in the extra hours, my kids will still try their best, and we’ll eventually make our goals. We have our pep talk and we are ready to do better next time. We are always trying to be better than yesterday. The day is over and I go home to do more work, per usual.
So, I have finished my lesson planning it’s now almost midnight and I decide to catch up on social media. I come across an article. Should teachers receive the same respect and esteem as doctors? Interesting, thought. Interesting, read. And then I think, hmmm, what does Facebook say about this? I read the comments. MISTAKE! People can say some cruel things. Why can’t we, as a whole world, disagree in respectful and kind ways?
Deb, you can believe homeschool is better for your children. But, let’s not tear down teachers because you believe that way. I am only one person, and while pretty much any other day I would have read that post, rolled my eyes, and thought nothing more about it. But I already felt that I was failing my students. The words stung, and I couldn’t let it go.
What’s my point? My point is, you can say what you would like. Your have that choice. But what you say affects people in many ways. Please, can we just be kind? Can we disagree in constructive ways rather than resorting to name calling or other unfriendly things?
We need to be better. I need to be better about what I say and how I say things. I want a better tomorrow, it starts with me and you.
Thanks for reading,